Scaarrrr
by Mikia
Summary: Bascially what could have happened in the Hogwarts Express in Harry's first year when meeting Ron. Mostly a takeoff of the Austin Powers 3 movie...


A/N: This is attempted humor fic of what could have happened on the train to Hogwarts in Harry's first year. It's kinda a take off of the Austin Powers 3 movie. Also, I like to dedicate this one to my best friend and twin Thalia Poet. She's the one who recommended I write this after one extremely hyperactive visit at her house. Hope you enjoy!

                                                                        Scaarrrr….

                                                                                    Mikia

            The red headed woman and her daughter disappeared from view as the Hogwarts Express chugged along the tracks. Harry quietly seated himself in his cushioned seat, feeling the softness on his rump. He slid his hand through his gravity defying hair and looked out the window once again. Telephone poles were passing silently as the vague reflection of himself stared back at him, his scar sticking out in obvious attention. He shifted his gaze around the empty compartment and he tried to breathe a sigh but choked it back when the compartment door slid open.

            It was one of the red-headed boys he saw on the platform kissing his mother goodbye. It was obvious she didn't get the dirt off his nose but he cracked a smile before speaking.

            "Anyone sitting here?" he asked glancing around the compartment then looking back at Harry. "Everywhere else is full."

            Harry shook his head and motioned his hand towards the seat in front of him. The red head understood and sat in front of him smiling sheepishly, twiddling his thumbs a few times until he held out his hand for a handshake.

            "Name's Ron Weasley," the red head said as Harry clasped hands with him.

            "Harry Potter."

            Harry ran through his hair once again, his scar standing out as his bangs shifted to the side as he tilted his head against the window. Then he felt a small shiver go up his spine. The glass was cool but not that cold, until he realized it was one of those shivers you felt when you were being watched. He peeked his eyes over to Ron who was staring at him dumbfounded, his mouth flapping open as he stared at Harry.

            Harry lifted his head up as Ron continued to stare at him making the silence even more uncomfortable.

            "Scaarrrrr…" came a low whispery voice. It took a while before Harry notice it was Ron.

            "Hm? What was that?" Harry asked.

            "Me? I didn't say anything. Don't know what you're talking about mate," Ron replied quickly looking away in the opposite direction. Harry shook his head, but found Ron's gaze back on him.

            "Scaarrrrrrr..."

            "Excuse me?"

            "What?"

            "Why do you keep saying scar?"

            "You heard me?"

            "Yes."

            "Oh sorry there ol' chap. Won't happen again, I promise." Ron apologized covering his mouth with his fingers. Harry took a sigh of annoyance and continued to look out the window.

            "Scaarrrr…"

            "OKAY!! I KNOW I HAVE A SCAR ON MY FOREHEAD!! YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME!!" Harry screamed jumping to his feet.

            Ron looked shocked as Harry sat himself back down. He opened his mouth again to speak, but covered it back up when Harry glared at him. It was beginning to be extremely tempting after five minutes had passed to which Ron was almost turning purple as if ready to burst.

            Harry's eye started to twitch as Ron started to get redder by the minute. Finally, in irritation and exasperation Harry decided to let him burst.

            "Go right ahead and say it."

            As if released from prison, Ron gave a jump from his chair onto his feet and pointed at Harry's forehead as if condemning it to the darkest corners of hell.

            "OH BITING FLOBBERWORMS!! THAT'S THE SCAR! THAT'S THE SCAR YOU-KNOW-WHO GAVE YOU! GOLLY!! DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING? OH GEEZ! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THAT SCAR!! I WANT TO TOUCH IT! I WANT TO SEE IF IT'LL ELECTRICUTE ME! I WANT TO SCRATCH OFF, USE THE REMAINING TISSUE TO MAKE ANOTHER SCAR! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! AND-"

            Harry watched as Ron started to pull at his hair while stomping his feet, looking up once or twice to scream at him-or his scar. After what seemed like the storm had past, Ron gasped for breath and sat back down with his hand over his mouth again still staring accusingly at Harry.

            The compartment door slid open as a jolly plumped face stared at them.

            "Anything off the cart dears?" the witch replied nudging her head towards her sweet snack filled cart.

            "Do you want anything?" Harry asked switching his attention back to Ron.

            Ron held up a wrapped corned beef sandwich sadly his other hand tightly clasped over his mouth. Harry took this into consideration and turned back to the trolley-woman.

            "I'll have-"

            "Scaarrrrr…"

            Harry shot his head back to Ron who was looking extremely flustered again to the point his ears were turning red.

            Harry gave him a glare, got up from his seat, and headed towards the trolley-woman to make his order personally.

            "SCAREE! SCAREE! SCAREE! SCAREE! SCAREE!" 

            Harry smiled at the trolley-woman as Ron started to point at his back with his chant blasting out of the compartment. The trolley-woman looked completely horrified as she left but the noise died down after Ron received a lap full of Chocolate Frogs to keep him busy. Harry could only sigh with relief.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "Harry Potter!" the professor called looking up from her rolled down piece of parchment scanning the huddled group of first years in front of her. Harry nervously stepped forward as all eyes watched him. He set his buttocks on the wooden stool getting a good look at the student body before the black flaps blocked his eyes. He gulped down a good wad of spit waiting for the Sorting Hat to call his House, but he didn't hear it.

            "Scaarrrrr…." a croaked voice muttered low in a whisper tone.

            The sound of Harry's hand colliding with his forehead echoed through the halls causing even the professors to cough/snort in their hands as the Sorting Hat started to chant in the remix of Ron Weasley.

            A Very Deranged End.

A/N: Scared? So am I…. *huggles Thalia Poet for the idea!!!*


End file.
